Not Everyone Is “Merry and Bright” — And That’s Not a Failure
Every year around this time, the world flips the switch to “cheerful mode.” Lights, commercials, perfect family photos, holiday dinners, and carols.
Here’s the part nobody puts on a greeting card: For a lot of veterans, caregivers, and their families, the holidays are hard. Not a little hard — emotionally heavy, financially stressful, and isolating in ways that don’t show up on Instagram.
Some are missing people who should still be here.
Some are pretending everything is fine because they don’t want to worry the family.
Some are doing the math on groceries versus heating bills.
Some haven’t been invited anywhere because people assume they’re “doing okay.”
Some are sitting in the same house they grew up in, surrounded by family — and still feel alone.
We see this every single year. If that’s you? You’re not failing. You’re not broken. You’re not the problem. You’re just human — in a system that makes it way too easy to feel like you’re carrying all of this by yourself.
Why the Season Can Hit Veterans and Caregivers Hard
The holidays can dig up things the rest of the year keeps buried:
Deployments that pulled you away from “normal life”
Battle buddies who should have come home but didn’t
Estranged or distant family relationships
The pressure to “be okay” for everyone else
PTSD triggers in crowded stores, fireworks, or “surprise” loud noises
Watching everyone else spend money you don’t have
The quiet grief of caregivers who never get a break — or recognition
Then there’s the financial side: Costs keep going up. Fixed incomes don’t. You can budget perfectly and still get knocked flat by one car repair, one medical bill, one crisis.
That isn’t a personal failure. That’s the math of survival for some veteran families in 2025.
You Don’t Owe Anyone a “Perfect” Holiday
You don’t have to go to every event. You don’t have to sit at a table full of people who don’t understand you. You don’t have to pretend the season is joyful if it isn’t.
You’re allowed to:
Make the holiday small this year
Say no without guilt
Leave early if it’s too much
Take care of your mental health
Let other people handle things for once
Choosing peace isn’t quitting; sometimes it’s the strongest move in the room.
If You Need Support This Season — You’re Not Alone
This is where we step in.
Mountain Valor helps veterans and caregivers navigate:
VA and state benefits they may not know they qualify for
Food support and winter energy/heating assistance
Emergency needs like housing, transportation, or crisis help
Local programs that aren’t veteran-specific but still benefit veteran families
Staying connected so isolation doesn’t win
If you need help — reach out, even if you’re not sure what to ask for: support@mtnvalor.org.
You don’t have to have the right words. You just have to start the conversation.
If You’re Doing Okay Right Now — Here's How to Help
Not everyone is struggling this season — and if you’re one of the ones in a steadier place, you can make a bigger impact than you think.
Here’s what matters most in rural communities:
Donate — even $10 helps us reach a veteran who otherwise stays invisible
Share this post — someone on your timeline is struggling quietly
Check on a veteran or caregiver you know — don’t assume they’re fine
Volunteer or bring a meal — small actions go farther than you think
Support local food banks and winter clothing drives — many veterans rely on them year-round
Give intentionally — gas cards, grocery cards, warm socks, blankets, gloves go further than gift baskets
If you want your giving to actually reach people who need it, we’re here — and we can put it to work immediately.
Donate: www.mtnvalor.org/donate
However This Season Looks for You — It’s Yours
Whether you’re surrounded by people or spending it quietly…
Whether you’re celebrating, surviving, or somewhere in between…
You’re not weak for feeling it. You’re not a burden for asking for help. You’re not alone — even if it feels like you are.
We see you, and we’re in this with you.